What to do if you found condoms in your teen's wardrobe?

397 views  April 10, 2019

It is easily understandable that would be shocked to hell as you wouldn't have ever imagined that your teen son actually needs contraception. You would be in rude shock as this is something that was not possible in traditional Indian family setting. It is natural that you wouldn't have heard something like this from your friends, peers, colleagues, neighbours and relatives.

Despite what you feel and how you take it, you should appreciate one thing that your son is habituating himself to safe sex. Though teenage pregnancy and teenage abortion and birth rates are very negligible in India compared to western countries, but you should understand that sex during teenage has predominantly increased in India due to media and access to porn at the fingertip.

We give you some recommendations as to what to do as a responsible parent.

Stop Overreacting

You may have very furious the moment you notice a condom, don't go at him with guns-blazing. Take some time and understand that times have changed. Your son is living in a different reality and his exposure towards sex is much more pronounced than your exposure during your teenage. You cannot stop your son from having sex just by shouting at him or constantly monitoring him or keeping him in some kind of a house arrest.

Remember, your son is much more educated about all aspects of sex. You should not compare him with what you did and how you behaved during your teenage with regard to sex.

Be Calm

Stay calm and stay positive. After all, your son has not done any irreparable damage. If you couldn't control your emotions, then you should not talk to your son about it, which otherwise may lead to complete unpleasantness. Shouting at him or reacting negatively will only prompt him to not talk about it in future and try things stealthily without your knowledge. He may specifically try to hide things from you.

There is also a possibility that your son might have bought a condom out of curiosity and may not have bought it for using it. Or some of his senior friends might have given it to him to evade from their parent's eyes. There could be many possibilities.

Sex is a highly sensitive topic to discuss with your son and it would be little awkward as a parent to discuss about it to your own son.  So, call him and talk to him politely. Tell him that you found a condom and there is nothing for him to worry about. But ask him to disclose how a condom came into his shelf. Or you may also tell him something like 'I know my son won't be indulging in sex so early, but I am surprised to find a condom. I assume you might have brought it out of curiosity' and casually ask him why he brought a condom.

Whatever may be your approach, make him feel that there is nothing to ashamed about and make him feel comfortable talking to you. Tell him that he need not feel anything guilty about it. After all, it is a contraceptive.

Let him know the consequences

Then you tell him the importance of safe sex and inform him about the risks of having sex without condoms. You can explain him about STDs and other risks associated with unprotected sex. Explaining him about the consequences can make him even more responsible and respect you for taking things positively.

Kids in teenage will have hormonal rush and the sexual urge will be at its peak. They may not think about the consequences and that is the reason behind so many teenage pregnancies and abortions.

As a responsible parent, you can make your son understand the importance of habituating himself to safe sex is very important. If you don't handle this properly and react negatively, he may choose unsafe methods and put himself in a bigger problem later.

You can explain to him the biological aspects of sex and how unprotected sex will lead to unwanted pregnancies and potential risks associated with it. You can also explain the relationship consequences involved in having sex with a teen partner.

Make him feel happy

Make sure your discussion goes in the right direction and he feels happy in the end. You should make him feel comfortable throughout the discussion. Teach your teen about virginity myth, legally accepted age for consensual sex and potential implications on sex on relationships. This may not be a one-off discussion with your son. You may have to discuss with him more often and update him with more relevant information.

The discovery of condom in your son's room should actually serve you an opportunity to guide your son towards a healthy sexual life.


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